What is Gaslighting?
Gas lighting is a sort of abuse inflicted upon you by the ones who tend themselves to be superior to others or who devalue your feelings and emotions and insult you. You start doubting your own abilities, not because you lack the it, but because of the approach of few others towards you. It is just because you give them the right to make you feel so. You hand over the reins of your life to them and become a marionette, dancing to their tunes. You are being emotionally and psychologically abused, which you are oblivion of. The abusers or the gas lighters will tend to control your feelings and your life and try to play the upper part in it. They want you to be completely dependent on them.
How to tell if someone is gaslighting you?
Gas lighters can abuse you in the following manners:
a. Feeling jealous of your achievements and success, and thereby devaluing it. They will use phrases like –
- “It doesn’t matter to me.“
- “You haven’t done anything like scaling the Everest.“, etc.
b. Disgracing or trivializing your feelings and emotions. You may hear phrases like –
- “I am busy still, I give time to you.”
- “I have got many others like you.“, etc.
c. Body shaming – They will body shame you to make you feel sad, inferior and insecure.
d. Gaslighting a child might include insulting or reprimanding her/him for low grades by comparing her/him with others. If a child asks for more food, some parents may abuse him psychologically by phrases like –
- “How much do you eat!”
- “You just have nothing to do other than filling your tummy.”
If you are being emotionally abused or made to beg for love, attention, or care from someone, just cut short the ties with such people, for you are being undervalued and emotionally abused.
How gaslighting affects the victim?
Victims of gaslighting may suffer from anxiety, depression and other mental health problems. It is therefore important to identify and recognize the signs early –
- You start doubting your abilities
- You find yourself more silent than before and feel insecure about your judgements
- You feel confused and disappointed
- You blame yourself for all wrongs, even when you are right
What should you do?
If you identify with any of the afore-mentioned signs, distance yourself from those who are gaslighting you. Seek help from people you trust, and/or professional help right away. Your mental health is precious, do not disregard it. Don’t rely on others, who never ever cared for you, for your happiness.
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